Time for the media to go gonzo on GOP

The U.S. news media must take a new tack in covering Donald Trump and the rest of the Republican slugs.

Confronting liars with their lies obviously is not working.

The latest slime trail from Trump is that thousands of Muslims in Jersey City celebrated on 9/11.

He’s been asked repeatedly to substantiate this assertion and the interviews always go something like this:

Q: How can you say this happened when there is no evidence to support it?

A: I saw it on TV.

Q: But no TV footage exists.

A: I saw it. So did a lot of other people.

Q: But the police, the FBI, Jersey City officials, all say it never happened.

A: I saw it. Hundreds of other people say they saw it and agree with me.

Q: But just because your supporters agree with you doesn’t make it true.

A: I saw it. It happened.

In the 10 days or so since Trump first recounted his 9/11 acid trip, tens of thousands of words have been written and spoken debunking the tale.

Why bother?

Trump never says he was wrong about anything or retracts a drop of the bile he routinely regurgitates.

It’s a waste of time to fact-check the guy – or, for that matter, any of the other GOP presidential candidates, members of the Tea Party in Congress, or their apologists on Fox News and elsewhere.

They consider truth debatable.

Politifact can light their pants on fire every day from now to their blessed End Times for all the influence it will have on the Gomers from Alabama to Alaska.

And what was to be gained when New York Magazine published a lengthy analytical piece last week under the headline: Is Donald Trump a fascist?

How many Republican primary voters read New York Magazine? Or know what a fascist is? Or care?

Let’s just round up all them Mexicans and truck ’em back across the border.

How do you get a straight answer from a candidate striving to appeal to voters who believe Obama is a Muslim born in Africa; evolution is simply a theory – Is Trump the missing link? – and climate change is a hoax?

It’s easy to write off these politicians as stupid or nuts. In 2012, it was popular to refer to the GOP presidential candidates as a clown car.

But that doesn’t help the media translate the language of habitual liars. Their words have no meaning.

Maybe it’s best to just poke them with a sharp stick until you get a decipherable reflex.

Bill Maher has the right idea. He got Trump’s goat by saying he was the offspring of an orangutan.

The billionaire sued the comedian for $5 million before dropping the action.

Headline: Trump does not dispute orangutan heritage.

Maher continues to compare the orange-haired politician to the orange-haired ape.

This is the only way to approach Mr. Bluster and his cohorts.

Play their game. Make up stuff.

Q: Mr. Trump, how could you have been watching Muslims celebrate in New Jersey on 9/11 when you were holed up in your Manhattan penthouse, raping your undocumented Mexican housekeeper?

Whatever he says – even, on the off chance, he keeps his trap shut – you got him.

Headline: Trump denies raping illegal Mexican.

Or: Trump mute on rape of illegal Mexican.

Or: Trump threatens reporter over allegation billionaire raped illegal Mexican.

This is where we’re at, folks. A brain surgeon is running for president and he’s as demented as his fellow Republican candidates.

It’s time to go gonzo.

Here are some suggested questions for the next GOP debate, on CNN later this month:

Q: Dr. Carson, how many mirrors did you need when you performed the lobotomy on yourself?

Q: Ms. Fiorina, when you were running HP, when you fired all those workers, why did you start a new division overseas that sold human organs to the highest bidder?

Q: Senator Cruz, since you renounced your Canadian citizenship last year, why do you continue to dress up as Queen Elizabeth every Halloween?

Q: Senator Paul, how do you respond to reports that the first name on your birth certificate is Ayn, not Rand?

Q: Governor Christie, did you hear the one about President Taft getting stuck in the bathtub in the White House?

Q: Governor Bush, once and for all – did Dick Cheney cast a spell on Tallahassee when y’all conspired to fix the results of the 2000 election?

Q: Senator Rubio, studies have shown that long-time residents of Florida are more prone to psychotic episodes than people from other states. Why should this not disqualify both you and Jeb Bush from the presidency?

Q: Governor Kasich, is Cleveland the biggest shithole in the United States? Or is it Akron?

Q; Governor Huckabee, which better serves the American gene pool: hicks getting hitched to their cousins, or same-sex couples getting married?

Q; Senator Santorum, why does a Google search of your name continue to return references to anal sex?

Q: Senator Graham, do you and John McCain plan to hold hands as you march us into war in the Middle East?

Q: Governor Pataki, who are you?

***

Trump would have been gone by Labor Day if the media had taken my advice in July and ignored him unless he made real news.

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