FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 9, 2016
NEW YORK – Live from the Winter Palace in Palm Beach, Florida, PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP convenes his Government in Exile on January 19, one day ahead of the felonious inauguration of Crooked Hillary Clinton.
The enthronement will highlight the launch of TRUMP TV, a 24/7 cable and satellite channel dedicated to the tens of millions of devoted Members of the Movement (MOMS) to Make America Great Again.
PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP and Vice President Ivanka TRUMP will be joined by his cabinet and First Lady Melania TRUMP at the Winter Palace, formerly known as Mar-a-Lago – which means “sea to shining sea” – for the swearing-in ceremony.
Also attending will be:
- Secretary of State and Ambassador to Russia Sarah Palin
- Secretary of Defense Chuck Norris
- Secretary of the Treasury/TRUMP ORGANIZATION Donald J. TRUMP Jr.
- Secretary of Commerce/TRUMP ORGANIZATION Eric F. TRUMP
- Secretary of the Interior (Decorator) Tiffany TRUMP
- Secretary of Transportation and Ambassador to the Court of St. James Barron W. TRUMP
- Attorney General and Secretary of Rage Rudolph Giuliani
- Secretary of Agriculture and Fast Food Chris Christie
- Secretary of Labor Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher
- Secretary of Health Dr. Mehmet Oz
- Secretary of Education Jerry Falwell Jr.
- Secretary of Energy Don King
- Secretary of Veterans Affairs Mike Ditka
- Secretary of Homeland Security Clint Eastwood
“This is the most diverse cabinet in history,” the PRESIDENT-IN-EXILE-IN-WAITING DONALD J. TRUMP said Wednesday. “You have the woman, the black, the brown.”
The investiture broadcast, from the Grand Ballroom of the Winter Palace, will be followed by a televised cabinet meeting and a round of golf at the fabulous TRUMP International club in West Palm Beach.
The eight-hour special, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. EST, will be a preview of the classy shows that will be the hallmark of TRUMP TV.
The 9 to 5 timeslot will thereafter be hosted by a rotating cast of A-list stars delivering the real news from such world capitals as TRUMP Tower in New York, TRUMP International Hotel in Washington, TRUMP International Hotel and Tower in Chicago, TRUMP International in Las Vegas, and TRUMP Doral in Miami.
From 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. on weekdays, PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP will host I Called It, a wrapup of the day’s breaking news previously predicted by PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP.
The rest of the TRUMP TV schedule:
6 – 7 p.m. – The Palin-Hannity News Hour: Straight talk on political disasters in Washington from Sean Hannity and the unfiltered worldview from Alaska from Sarah Palin, the Secretary of State and Ambassador to Moscow.
7 – 8 p.m. – Fire Away, with Wayne LaPierre: The executive director of the National Rifle Association (NRA) answers callers’ questions about protecting yourself, your loved ones and the Second Amendment, and how to form an armed militia in your community.
8 – 9 p.m. – Hunting Radical Islamic Terrorists with Rudy Giuliani: America’s Mayor and a brigade of militiamen crisscross the county, stopping and frisking suspected Muslims.
9 – 10 p.m. – Hunting Aliens with Sheriff Joe: Watch the famous Arizona lawman Joe Arpaio and his deputies accost suspected Mexicans and check their papers.
10 – 11 p.m. – Hunting Bad Hombres: Ann Coulter and other MOMS scour alien sanctuaries from East Harlem to East L.A.
11 – 12 p.m. – Border Wars: Armed militiamen patrol the Mexican border. See TRUMP TV’s Virtual Wall with Exclusive Border Cams from California to Texas.
12 p.m. – 1 a.m. – Hunting Big Game: Eric and Don Jr. shoot lions and tigers and bears around the world.
1 a.m. – 2 a.m. –Runway Confidential: PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP hosts a behind the scenes look at TRUMP Model Management. Adult content.
2 a.m. – 3 a.m. – Who Wants to Be a Billionaire: Real estate seminars with disciples of the boss, PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP.
3 a.m. – 5 a.m. – Real Time with PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP: Get your phones and tablets ready as you watch PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP tweet live.
5 a.m. – 6 a.m. – Unclassified with Julian Assange: A daily look into the crookedness of the Clinton White House with the WikiLeaks whistleblower.
6 a.m. – 6:30 a.m. – Preparing for the Apocalypse with A-list preachers and prophets.
6:30 a.m. – 7 a.m. – Wake up with Ivanka and Melania: The Vice President and the First Lady lead you in morning exercises.
7 a.m. – 9 a.m. – Thank you, Mr. President – Get your day started and your credit cards ready at a one-stop shop for TRUMP hotels, resorts, golf courses, signature clothing, accessories, home furnishings, fragrances, books and much, much more.
Weekend programming will include:
- Morning Prayer: Un-separating Church and State with Secretary of Education Jerry Falwell Jr.
- Dining Out with Chris Christie: The Secretary of Agriculture and Fast Food follows the feast from farm to fryer.
- Miracle Cures with Secretary of Health Dr. Oz.
- The Case for Concussions with Secretary of Veterans Affairs Iron Mike Ditka.
- Back Alley Bare-Knuckle Boxing hosted by Secretary of Energy Don King.
- Martial Arts for the Criminally Insane hosted by Secretary of Defense Chuck Norris.
- Dirty Harry Film Festival hosted by Homeland Security Secretary Clint Eastwood.
TRUMP Productions is now hiring for TRUMP TV at all levels of management and production.
Employees are required to volunteer for service to the upcoming launch of the TRUMP PARTY and the TRUMP 2020 campaign.
A lifetime confidentiality agreement will be signed and a legally binding loyalty oath taken on the date of employment.